Life is either a daring adventure or nothing

Once-in-a-blue-moon update LOL

2011-08-08T05:11:00.003+08:00

It's been almost a year since I visited or updated this little personal space of mine. I guess this blog is going to die very soon wtf.

However, memories will always remain; therefore I am never gonna delete this blog of mine.

Whoever says that blog must be updated regularly? Is there any particular set of rules which dictate so? HELL NO. So, to hell with discipline... I shall only update as I see fit, or when I feel like it :p

It's now 5.30am in the morning and I still can't sleep. Or rather, I don't wanna sleep for some weird reasons. Lately, I have been feeling a little lost and I am trying to find my way out now. Is it really because I am too idle nowadays? Or because of something else? It's been a while since I last wrote something, so pardon me if this piece of my thought is a lil' bit all over the place. :)

I think I have grown up a lot in these few months. Due to my experience of working with Appco. I'm not gonna bore you with the details of the company or the job; if you would like to find out more, feel free to google the name of the company. I was basically doing sales and marketing cum corporate trainer. I have learnt a great deal from this job and met some really nice chaps along the way, whom I will never forget in my entire life.

I have also met someone who's now a precious friend to me and I hope it will remain this way... because I came to realize that the friendship means more to me than any other kind of relationships. And I am really comfortable and happy like this. :)

Like I said earlier, there are some things that will remain as memories forever... One day, I will still look back and smile, reminiscing the good old times and be grateful for I have met him. But I am actually still in the adjusting period... But soon, I will be able to get over it. I truly believe that time actually heals. Don't get me wrong, it's not like my world is about to collapse... it's just sometimes I would still ask the what ifs questions. Over and over again.

If the person in question ever gets to read this, he will have the answer to the question he asked me last night. But it doesn't matter now anymore, does it? It didn't work out, so that's all there is to it. And when he asked, I did consider for a moment, just for a moment to tell him, but I did not in the end, I just merely avoided the question. Thank God for that. I wouldn't wanna risk ruining the friendship that we have built after ending things.

I want to get rid of the what ifs questions. I really do. But the harder I try, the worse it became. I end up asking more. So I will just go with the flow for the time being, I guess?

I will end this post with a song that kinda describes my mixed up feelings now.

Good night peeps!

What I have been up to lately~

2010-09-21T00:14:00.003+08:00

I have been updating my blog regularly, but these updates are mainly my thoughts. I haven't been blogging about what I have been up to lately as I'm damn lazy to upload the pictures here... LoL. I didn't even blog about my birthday. @.@

Did not watch any movie recently... the last one was Karate Kid, together with Martin. =) A very touching movie. I'd like to apologize to Martin for making him wait for nearly half an hour in front of the cinema... :p ^sorry^

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time in Shall We Dance Studio... I'm now taking up Latin class too. ^_^ The reason why I have been spending so much time there was because I took part in the salsa performance for SWDS Anniversary 2010! Initially I participated just for the fun of it, but as the Big Day drew closer, I started to become anxious and thought about quitting for countless time. Fortunately, I did not. I gritted my teeth and stuck it thru'. It was one of the best decisions I made, as I learnt a lot and it brought me happiness. Perhaps, I should say, joining in this studio is one of best decisions I have ever made, as I made many friends, and all of them are nice and kind-hearted people. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

I shall let the pictures do the talking now yeah? =)

Presenting... SHALL WE DANCE STUDIO ANNIVERSARY 2010~

There are many more types of dance performance that day, but unfortunately, I do not have all the pictures... There were Latin, Hip Hop, Ballroom, Belly Dance and the list goes on...

My salsa class... =)

Apart from that, Merdeka celebration... Not that I'm very patriotic, it was just another reason to party~~~ TeeHee ^_^

Then, random night outs... I won't post so many pictures of the night outs here as you could see most of them in my Facebook...

Then... Tioman trip with my eldest sis~~

HAHAAHHAA this is precious... LoL

Genting Trip with friends from SWDS...~~

Last but not least... my convo~~~~~!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY.

Thanks to my daddy and mummy and yima... and my family... and my friends too... without all of you, I will never be able to make it this far...

Oh well, it's getting really "early" now. heheheheh... I shall blog about my birthday celebration soon. Good night peeps~

思念

2010-09-20T23:35:00.001+08:00

前几天。。。在我看电视的时候，突然间听到王菲的 “我愿意”。。。那首歌的第一句就是

“思念是一种很玄的东西，如影随形。。。”

这句话真的很适合形容我的心情。。。因为我现在在思念着某一个人。。。可是我却不可以找他，因为我怕我会吓到他。本来我不打算让他知道我对他的感觉的，可是在毫无选择的情况之下，我逼不得已告诉了他。如果时间可以倒流的话，我决不会让他知道。虽然我知道我们之间是没有可能的，可以默默的守在他的身旁，成为他的其中一个朋友已经足够了。我这样并不是伟大，而是自私，因为若是可以这样的话，我会比较快乐。可是现在事情已经成为了一个无法改变的定居了。他既然已经知道了，我再也不可以若无其事，无无聊聊的找他聊天。现在我会怕打扰或吓到他。

可是我并没有不开心。。。因为我知道他现在很幸福。偶尔想起他的时候，我会告诉我自己，他一定过得很好，千万别去找他，弄到事情更糟。保持距离是最好的。

思念他的时候，我就会写在我的日记里。。。今天我不可以这样做，因为我不会写华语字。只会用电脑或电话写出来。哈哈哈哈！这样做，我已经很开心了。写完之后，我会继续过我的生活。。。

我天天都告诉我自己，只要他开心就可以了。我也会好好的过下去。。。尽量不要白活。我坚信我的幸福一定会找到我的。我的人生一定会多姿多彩，我保证！！

Life is strangely beautiful

2010-09-19T22:52:00.003+08:00

A few days ago, I went out at the crack of dawn to get some breakfast... As I drove out, I was caught in a mini-jam near my housing area and I was cursing my lungs off because patience is not my virtue and to me, getting stuck in the jam is an utter waste of time. But there was nothing I could do other than cursing and cursing at that point of time is not productive. Well, it won't help anyway. It's not like the jam would move if I get angry and curse. Suddenly, a revelation came to me. Technically, it is not revelation, it is something I have known all these while, but never could truly grasp the concept. At that moment, I was looking at the clear blue sky, decorated with snow white clouds and the bright sun... Birds were flying and chirping away happily and as it was a breezy day. Life shouldn't be so hard. No matter how dire the circumstance is, we still could find a way to make ourselves happy... it is all a game of mind. In short, it all depends on your mindset. Perhaps, there are a million things out there that you cannot control, but there is one thing you can, your mind. Cursing and getting restless when caught in the jam wouldn't change a thing. Instead of getting angry and ruin my mood, I could have listened to my favourite music, read a book, or just simply enjoy my surrounding by observing it.

Then, I reached the restaurant, got down from my car and ordered my breakfast. As I was waiting for my breakfast, I sat down, lighted a ciggie, and watched the people around me. The stall owners, customers, waitresses, etc. I thought to myself, these people are beautiful. Life may have made them age, unattractive and plain, but they are beautiful. I believe that there is some kind of beauty in everyone. I don't know these people, yes, but I know that they are living their lives, making a living. That very own fact makes them beautiful. And that reminds me of something, the very reason I chose the beauty line. The very reason I fell in love with makeup. I love to beautify people. Yes, beauty has to come from within, but I think at least by highlighting their best features, it would give them confidence. It is extremely empowering to feel beautiful and confident. I would like to be the one who helps to achieve this. I love to see the smiles on their faces when I am done with my job.

I get it now. I really do. If you have a positive mind, everything you see will be beautiful and that will be the sole factor that is going to drive you on when faced with challenges or difficulties. We could never choose a circumstance, but we could always choose the way we react to it.

Finally, I see it. Life is strangely beautiful in many ways and I am happy to be able to discover more. I will continue this journey in making a difference, making the world a more beautiful place in my own ways.

I. Am. Happy.

Regret

2010-09-10T21:39:00.004+08:00

Dear all,

Now, I know I should not be writing about something this negative just one day after my birthday, but I need to because these unsettling feelings deep down inside my heart are torturing the hell outta me.

I did the unthinkable thing and made a fool outta myself on one fateful day. Sounds just like me isn't it? Sigh. I feel so mortified and embarrassed and I really don't know what I can do to make things right again. How I wish I could turn back time or undo the things that I did. How I wish.

I did what I did not because I couldn't let go, I supposed it was just some unexpressed feelings in my heart (that I am trying desperately to get rid of and I am getting there) that drove me to do that.

If I do say so myself, throughout the years, I have learnt how to move on and let go, I just need some time to do it. I seriously don't know what the hell got into me. Perhaps it really was the alcohol doing the talking, not me. Because I never would have done such a thing. Just by thinking of it makes me cringe. And wanna slap myself. And feel like puking. It's like I can't even live with myself now.

I ruined something again. And I really do regret it... Thousand apologies. I'm really sorry.

The trip back to K.Lipis

2010-09-06T05:04:00.002+08:00

Dear all, I made a trip back to Kuala Lipis yesterday and I just came back today.

Well, I would say this trip has cheered me up a little... and I am better compared to my previous state. At least, having my family around me made me feel safer and they really did occupy my time and I had no time to think of the things that were (and still are), bothering me. Frankly speaking, my mood is better now. ^_^ However, I still feel exhausted, because like life, every rose has its thorn. I don't think I will be mentioning any name here as it will be inappropriate... =) I just want to share my thoughts on this matter. Oh well, not newly found thought; it is a well-known fact, but I never really accepted it. I guess now I do. Do not expect people will change, because when you do, they never do. When you expect something like that, all you will get is disappointment. I'm not dreaming anymore and I would move on and NEVER look back again. I mean, come on, what's the point? It is not any happy ending, it is frustrating, and like a friend of mine always says, it is not productive.

Anyway, seeing my parents really did cheer me up. And my relatives and some old friends back there. I know I am not alone. There are times when you will feel really fragile and vulnerable... like the whole world is against you. There is nothing wrong with that because life always has its ups and downs. I don't care if people say that I am emotional and that I have no EQ. At least I know I will be fine after being emotional; I won't keep my feelings bottled up and when the exposion comes, the damage can never be repaired. So who cares if I scream and shout and cry once in a while? =)

Oh well, someone is now looking at me with evil eyes asking me to get lost now. Kidding :p

Gotta go peeps. More updates comings soon.

My Birthday Is Coming Soon

2010-09-03T06:40:00.003+08:00

As the title suggests, my birthday is just around the corner. To be honest, I was very excited to celebrate it and had made plans of celebration last month. But right now, I just don't feel like celebrating it anymore. My mood swings have gone from bad to worse lately. I just feel that birthday is just the same as any other day. Perhaps, this is to celebrate one's existence. But mine? It is not worth celebrating for. I am down in the dumps right now. I am gonna be 24. When I was 17, I thought I would grow up and be different when I turn 18. When I turned 18, I thought things would be different when I turn 21. But til now, I am still clueless. I never know what exactly is going on. I am not different. I am not better. I just get worse. Lately, I am not appreciative or grateful of what is around me. I can feel angry or upset out of the blue, just like a mad woman. Yup, you heard me. I am calling myself a woman now, no longer a girl.

I don't know how I should continue this journey. I don't know what lies ahead. I don't know if I will be able to someone one day.

There was this one night, I had an argument with someone and I realized something. First, things are never fair. Second, no matter what I do, I am just... me. And I will never be able to fulfill the expectation of someone important to me... and ouch, that hurts. Third, humans are selfish, and I should learn how to be more selfish and self-centered. Fourth, things really have changed. As tears rolled down on my cheeks uncontrollably, I just thought of so many things. And they were nasty thoughts. People who once cared so much about me don't really care anymore. Yes, I am a grown up now, but does that mean I don't need them? Sometimes I just feel like getting angry with the world and the people in it and hate 'em all. (Now I am just being plain crazy)

I was very upset on my birthday last year. I don't think this year is gonna be any different.

I have the urge to strangle myself right now.

Don't mind me. Just having an emo moment.

Good morning.

It's been a while

2010-08-13T04:54:00.002+08:00

Hi all, I've been missing in action again... :o

Nope, this time it is not about work or assignment or anything...

Someone once told me: "It is not easy to push yourself to do something". How true.

Now that I am taking Diploma in Professional Make Up, I feel that the stress is getting to me. I am serious. I feel that I am never gonna make it. I feel that I don't have the talent. I watch all my friends go to work with so much energy and enthusiast and hell I envy them. I watch all of them building their career and hell I envy them too! Everyone's working and yet I am stuck studying. Every now and then, if opportunities come up, I would feel tempted. I would feel like going back to event/advertising/PR... but I always tell myself, this is your dream. You chose it. You left your job for it. It's like I have a devil living deep inside my heart who keeps debating with me. "You can't make it. A dream is always a dream."

It's driving me insane here! To add insult to injury... people judge. I know I can't stop people from judging me and I am learning to deal with this. Sometimes I succeed in ignoring them, sometimes I don't. The determining factor here is... who are those people and whether or not I care for them.

But no matter what, I would fight the devil living in mind and I will prove some people wrong. I am not worthless. Not useless.

Right now... I just need to rant a little. Because I am afraid. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of the future. Afraid of failure. Afraid of losing. After ranting...I believe that I would be ok.

More updates soon, if there is any. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T16:12:00.003+08:00

To all the mums out there, Happy Mother's Day!

For me, I have two mums to wish. ^_^ One is my mum, another one is my yima, who brought me up.

I know that both won't get to see this, but then I just want to express my feelings towards them in my own little space.

To my mum: -

No, the adorable little girl is not me. She is my niece. ^^

Mum, happy mother's day! I know that I had been a pain in the ass when I moved in to stay with you and dad 9 years ago. I know that I had been really rebellious and immatured. I know that I always made your blood boil. I am sorry for not being the best daughter ever. I am sorry for blaming you so many years. I understand everything now. Please forgive me. I will not fail you, I swear. I will make you proud. Mum, I love you. :)

To my yima: -

Yima, thanks for bringing me up and loving me unconditionally. Without you, I will not be who I am today. I know that I hurt you all those years ago when I did something wrong and you had to send me away. I guess, I never apologized for what I did to you before, not properly, anyway. So here I am. Sorry. I am still feeling very guilty and I could still feel the pain when I had to part with you... But I will make it up to you. I will come back and visit you more often and I will fulfill my promises towards you. I already fulfilled one. I am a uni grad now! I hope you are proud of me. ^_^ And I hope that you will fulfill your promises too. One of them is to be there when I get married one day. You promised! hehehe.

And I just realised, I don't really have that many pictures of my family with me. They are all in lipis or kuantan. =.=| But anyway, they will always be in my heart.

P/S: I wanted to post this up earlier, but the darn internet was damn slow so I had to give up. Now it's much better.

Guys, gotta scoot!

Much love all~

Friendship is one of the most precious things

2010-05-08T05:28:00.003+08:00

Dear all,

Mr. Insomnia wants to be my new best friend again. He wouldn't leave me alone. :( I guess this is becoz of my biological clock, which is totally eff-ed up now. But no matter what, I am always a night ghost. :) I am most productive and efficient at night. In the morning, I am just a walking zombie.

Just now, I had my breakfast/lunch/dinner with Julliette at Kim Gary, Sunway Pyramid. We talked for hours! Julliette dear, I am lucky to have met you and I am glad, very glad to know you! :) She said something which I can't agree more...

"Friendship is one of the most precious things in life."

It's so true. One of God's greatest gift is indeed, friendship.

Someone once said to me that she didn't need any friend in her life; friends are meant to be manipulated. I would like to tell her now, without my friends, I will not be who I am today. Although I might be an unattractive/ugly/fat loser in your eyes, but I believe, I am happier than you. Because I am always surrounded by very supportive friends who love me for who I am. I don't have to wear a mask 24/7 and I am comfortable in my own skin. I may not be as attractive or as rich as you, but I am happy and most importantly, I am not as insecure as you. I don't need the luxurious or glamourous life of yours to fill my life. A few hours of hanging out with my friends, no matter where we are, will do for me.

Whenever I am in trouble, my friends are there to help me.

Whenever I am upset, my friends are there to cheer me up.

Whenever I am lonely, my friends are there to be with me.

When I cry, I have shoulders to lean on.

When I laugh, they laugh with me.

We share everything with each other and we love each other, no matter how much we argue.

I would like to dedicate this to all my friends out there. You know who you are.

Guys, forgive me for being so corny here. @.@

I just want you to know, this is true my heart. That's right, true from MinMin's ♥

Recent activities

2010-05-08T03:31:00.003+08:00

Dear all,

I have been missing in action from my blog for quite some time, before I quit my job, right?

Actually, my life has changed quite a lot, but I am really behind in updates here. To make it up, I guess I'll just have to blog about some things I have done recently.

Movies watched:

Freaking Hilarious. Two thumbs up!

A must-watch movie. As good as the first one

I watched both movies with Voon and Eva~ Thanks girls~ It was fun. Let's watch Iron Man 2 soon... I haven't watched... /_\

Books read: -

Sophie Kinsella is definitely my favourite writer. I can spend hours reading her books and I have read everything written by this fabulous woman. Twenties Girl is mainly about the relationship between an ordinary girl with overactive imagination called Lara with her 105-year-old great aunt who has already passed away, but couldn't rest in peace because she could not find her necklace, which meant a lot to her. No one could help her but Lara, because she was the only one who could see her. Sadie, her great aunt, appeared in the form of bold, fun-loving, Charleston-Dancing girl, demanded that Lara must track down her necklace. Annoyed and scared of her incessant shrieks and shouts, Lara agreed, although her life was a mess - her business partner has run off to Goa, she has just been dumped by her boyfriend and was still obsessing about getting back together with him. As the treasure hunt began, both girls, who had nothing in common, started to get along with each other and Lara's mundane life took a turn; she thrived in her career, she found new romance...

Oops, I guess I have said too much already... My bad. :p If you are interested in this book, you really should go get one from your nearest bookstore and read it! It will be worth your time. I laughed like a mad woman when I was reading it and my friends thought I was crazy! It's story is intriguing, hilarious and meaningful... Ten thumbs up! wtf. :)

Beyond the Blonde, on the other hand, is a story of a hairdresser to stars, Georgia, a small town girl who got the position as a colourist in one of the most well-known and expensive salons in New York, Jean-Luc. This books takes the readers into the glamorous world of bitchy women and men, mainly the salon's clients. Find out how Georgia battled bullies, found romance, endured heartbreak and betrayal, and fought the fear within her throughout the journey of her career as a colourist at such a glamorous salon! Beyond the Blonde is definitely interesting; but I still prefer Sophie's Twenties Girl! I guess preference is always subjective. :)

Anyway, thanks Kelly for lending me this!

And, I attended Kelly Clarkson's All I Ever Wanted Tour Concert at Bukit Jalil National Stadium! Many thanks to Julliette who scored me fabulous seats, for free! Yoohoooooo!!! And not forgetting Ms. Kelly Tey, who attended the concert with me~!! Kelly watched Kelly, wtf.

We did not bring camera to the concert, so no pictures were taken... BooHoo~
It was definitely worth watching! I would kill to have a voice like hers... seriously. She was simply fabulous...! Love her to bits! Anyway, if anyone wishes to take a look at the concert's pictures, click here.

Apart from these, I am taking up salsa class now, many many thanks to Voon and Eva ^_^
It's really fun~

And I am taking up gym as well, woohoo! I hate working out, but I won't stop!

Favourite hang out place for the past few months: Zeta Bar, Modesto's, Sya's place, Cs' pan mee restaurant (because of CHAIRMAN, of course), gym, shopping malls, etc etc.

Actually I have taken quite a number of pictures, but god knows, it is tiring to upload all here. Why do double work when you can find those on my FB? HEHEHE.

Wow, it's now 5.03 am... I really have to get some sleep, although I am not sleepy yet. :p I want to get rid of my dark circles!! They are annoying! If I don't have them, I would feel very very comfortable not wearing makeup everyday. I won't feel like sinking into the ground when I bump into people who have never seen me without make up....! I can only wish.... no more questions such as, "Why do you look so tired?", "What time did you go to sleep last night?" etc etc, which basically means "you look like shit" to me. Okok, just kidding.

Gotta scoot!

Much love all!

Bitch

2010-05-06T21:57:00.002+08:00

Dear all,

First of all, let me apologize first as this is going to be a very angry and frustrated post.

I just want to let the whole world knows what I think of that bitch. How can one be so nice to you but stabs you at the back? How can one be so selfish and only thinks about herself? Her whole damn world just revolves around herself, and of course, money. She never thinks that she's at fault for what happened. Not at all. How self-centered is that? Who does she think she is? Just because she is rich, she thinks she has the right to lord it all over other people? Donating for charity every once in a while does NOT erase what you have done, you evil bitch. Please try putting yourself into other people's shoes. Yes, no doubt, the victims of your deeds are my friend, but even if they are not, I would still say the same thing about you. Stop pretending, you manipulative bitch.

Karma does exist, mark my words. Just be careful! On second thought, no, don't be careful. You deserve all that. More than anyone I know.

Stay Positive

2010-05-05T15:19:00.005+08:00

Hey all. News flash. I've quit my job at Milestone, but I bet the whole world knows about it already. LOL.

I would like to thank everyone who accompanied me through my journey in Milestone. Pei Ling, Angelyn, Jaye, Jo, Julliette, Steven, Kenneth, Peter, Hon Weng, Nigel, my Edward korkor. It has been fantastic working with all of you. Thanks for putting up with me and thank you for working with me as a team. And I believe that this will turn into a lifetime friendship. I really do. And as for people I have met along the way, I am thankful as well. God knows, event life is hellish, most of the time. But for people like me, I find satisfaction in that kind of job. Masochist, no? HAHAHAH.

Angelyn babe, I am not cold blooded, of course I am upset about leaving you guys. But everything has its expiry date, and I guess, this is it for me. It's time for me to move on. But as for you, please do not worry too much. I believe in you and your capability. You have never failed me. I know you will do a better job than I did. Gambate, dear!

On my last day, I was so deliriously happy that I got higher than I was supposed to get at Kel's birthday party. wtf. Happy because I thought I got my freedom, finally!

But that happiness is short-lived. I was happy until Sunday. On Monday, I woke up in the morning, realizing I didn't really have a reason to wake up, so I went back to sleep. Til 2 or 3 pm. The same thing happened yesterday and today. I feel so drifted. I wanted some time to do some soul searching. But now I have the time, and I am not that happy.

So I just refused to wake up today. I had no reason to. But how much can one sleep? I had to wake up. And then I realised, no one was home. All my friends are working. No one was around. So I was so lazy to go out and get some food and I waited til 5++. Then I couldn't take it anymore so I dragged my lazy ass out of the house and into the car, in my big T-Shirt, messy hair and without a single trace of makeup on my face, drove to the nearest restaurant, bought some food and went home. I watched Desperate Housewives (again) while I was eating. So damn boring.

Then I came up to my room, played some songs, and memories started to flood my mind. I thought I got over those things earlier, but apparently, not yet. I am still hurt. I still care and I still wonder what have I done to deserve all these. But I will recover, I have to be strong. I can't fail my friends who sincerely care about me. I will keep my chin up and go through this. :)

After that, I saw Kelly online so I messaged her. Thank God for that. The stuffs that she said to me really really made my day. I don't feel so worthless anymore. Really, Kelly dear, thank you very much. :)

Recent updates my life

Then, Kelly's birthday party, which I don't really have the pictures yet, not all, anyway. So that will be in the next post.

Oh ya, my brother, my little brother, has gone back to Kuala Lipis for good. T__T

Farewell dinner with him at Ampang Lookout Point: -

What I am trying to say here is, life always has its ups and downs. I tend to focus too much on things I don't have and I forgot the things that I do have. It's bad. It really is. So, thanks again my dear friends and families, for being around. I am lucky to have you. I will try to stay positive at all times. Thank you again.

Much love all. Have a great week!

LIMIT

2010-04-13T16:38:00.000+08:00

I'm reaching my limit. Very soon. Watch out for explosion~!!~!!!!!!

Frustration and Anger

2010-04-12T16:19:00.002+08:00

Hi all, sorry, this is gonna be an angry and frustrated post, as what the title suggests.

I just need a channel to vent out my anger right now or I will smash my laptop, mobile and everything around me. Literally. wtf.

The past few weeks had been a bitch to me as I was at the cross road and I had to make a choice and take the chance. It was not a small decision to make and goodness knows how long I gathered my courage to finally take the chance. I thought things would turn out to be better, but I am wrong. Still wrong.

People can be evil and ungrateful to you, mark my words. No matter how much you sacrificed for them. No matter what you did for them. Once they know that you cannot be manipulated anymore, that's it. You will get to see the ugly side. And it is not nice. It is emotionally draining, infuriating, upsetting and goodness knows what else.

And yet I have never seen these evil people's downfall. I mean, shouldn't these people get their retribution for being like that?

There's a saying, what goes around, comes around. Does this even hold true? Or just some words to make the victims of the evil feel better? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I am actually a forgiving person and no matter what, I believe I do possess a kind heart. But I am now pushed to my limit. I can't be forgiving to these people. I just can't. I hope they will learn their lessons one day. If that is ever gonna happen, that is.

Oh well. Time to get back to work. =(

Much love all.

Back to blogging state again

2010-04-07T16:17:00.003+08:00

Hi all, I am back with a revamped blog.

I guess this is just a post to reactivate my blog. wtf.

After 7 months. Gosh, I am so lazy~

Anyway, I am still kicking and alive, and I will try to update this as much as I can.

See ya~

Hello~I'm still alive

2009-09-03T20:09:00.004+08:00

I am not a persistent person. I vowed that I would constantly update this personal site of mine but I did not. I abandoned it many times. I was at the verge of giving this up, but, the amount of time spent creating this blog would be wasted, and I didn't want that. (I am a technical idiot, so customizing this was a pain in the ass!!)

Ok, enough with that. I am back but this time, I will not promise constant updates, because I don't really have the time and energy to do so...

So, what have I been up to?

Work.

I am now interning in Ogilvy & Mather Advertising and I am placed under Project Management Unit. I am so lucky to get a great bunch of colleagues who help me so so much along the way. I believe this would turn into lifetime friendships. :)

Enough about work, because it's boring...!

I feel really weird recently, without knowing the reasons. Is it because of hormonal imbalance? I don't know. Maybe. One day I would be so ecstatic and the next I would be down in the dumps. Isn't it crazy?

I found out something and this is the thing that keeps me going on everyday. I am not as useless as I think. I found out about this when I started interning here... ^_^ I am capable and I learn fast. This is something that I didn't know, or rather, didn't believe. When one feels that one is worthless, one will not be happy because there is no goal in one's life, and that person would be drifted further apart from success, or happiness. Thank god this did not happen to me. I found my strengths and weaknesses. But I know I can go further... and I will try to build up more confidence in myself to face upcoming challenges. I hope that I will be able to overcome them calmly... *keeping my fingers crossed*

This post is going nowhere... I just felt like writing something... Random, I know.

Friends, I know I have been missing in action for a while. I am so so sorry. I promise I will make it up to you guys ya.... Love ya!

And lastly, my daddy surprised me with a phone call today. He called just to ask about my interview with Milestone. He has never done this before, I mean, he has never asked me anything about my career or studies before... weird. But that phone call managed to brighten up my day and put a smile on my face all day long. Thanks dad. I love you.

Good night everyone.

Anticipating the Langkawi Trip

2009-05-14T02:32:00.004+08:00

It's now 3.41 am. I can't sleep yet. Not that I am not sleepy, but I am just excited and I have too many things to bring to Langkawi and I seriously do not know how to pack my stuffs. All my friends know that I am a really bad packer because I always try to bring too many stuffs - stuffs that I may or may not need.

I feel that I need to bring those because there will be times like - "Oh why didn't I bring it? I wanna use/wear it!" or "MinMin, do you have this/that? No, I was supposed to bring it but I decided not to. Speaking of which, I feel like using/wearing it too!!" There are so many stuffs to bring - skin cares, masks, body lotion, sunblock, shampoo, conditioner, facial foam, clothes, hair dryer, etc etc... and the list goes on!

God I am taking so long to pack and I seriously need some sleep now... I think I will continue tomorrow... more updates with my trip to Langkawi soon~~

People in my country

2009-02-27T17:26:00.001+08:00

Things written here are entirely personal opinion and observation, alright?

I find that Malaysians are not helpful and not friendly at all on a general scale (Of course, like everything, exceptions do exist)

I'll give you two scenarios, both involving directions, which partly describe what I am trying to say here.

Scenario 1:
My little brother and his girlfriend got lost in some rural area in Subang. I think it's called Kampung Melayu Subang, if I am not mistaken. Both of them didn't know how to get the hell out of there as there was no road sign at all. Ohya, they were trying to go to SS15, by the way. So they finally saw someone by the roadside. My brother wind down the window and asked,

Fai: Abang, mana Subang?
Stranger: Sinilah Subang!
Fai: Oh, mana Bandar Subang?
Stranger: Sinilah Bandar Subang!
Fai: SS15?
Stranger: Apa?
Fai: Tu, yang ada Inti College, Taylor's College, area tu. (through gritted teeth)
Stranger: Eh...itu bukan Subang!
Fai: Ya ke... tak apa la. Thanks for your help. (sarcastically)

When I was told about this, I was practically falling off my chair because I was laughing so hard. How can anyone be so stupid? From what my brother said, the stranger clearly is one of the residents in the rural area! He's either too dumb, or he's being unhelpful. In the end, my brother found his way out. (Took him almost an hour)

Scenario 2:
I was accompanying my sister to Mutiara Damansara to meet her customer. She didn't know the exact location of his company, and I... Well, safe to say that I am completely hopeless in directions. So, we were looking for that miserable company in Sunway Technology Park under the hot sun and we were running out of petrol soon. Imagine our situation. So, we decided to stop by the shops and ask for directions. All we got was..."I don't know"! Wait! I am not quite finished yet. He got this I-can't-be-bothered look on his face, which made my blood boil. (I am good at reading facial expression, ok? So I think I got this right) We even tried the security guards, but they gave us the wrong direction. *&^%$%^&!!!
Dammit! But we managed to find that company at last, thank god.

See what I am trying to say here? What is wrong with the people here? Sometimes when you smile at people, they just glare at you. When you are wearing something revealing, they either gape at you or stare at you disdainfully. When you fall down, they laugh and jeer. When they see someone got beaten up, robbed, etc, they watch instead of helping. Oh my god... what is going on here? Friends and readers: No offense ya. Like I mentioned earlier, there is always exception. If you are not one of those people, good for you. If you are, then... you know.

I really hope that these people would try to put themselves into other people's shoes and imagine what would they do if they get such treatments. Please, be more considerate. Have you ever gotten up on the wrong side of the bed? I bet you have. So, just bear in mind that everyone has his/her bad day. So I think they could use a little sympathy, patience and consideration. Don't be so selfish!

Hi Again

2009-02-26T01:19:00.001+08:00

I know... I deserve to be smacked. How long has it been since I deserted my blog ya...? Around 2 months, I guess. I thought of updating about the events of my life after my new year celebration...Heck, I didn't even blog about the celebration... It's just that I never got around to do it and I was lazy as well as unmotivated. Anyway, you didn't miss out much, that I can assure you. (For those who want to know about my new year celebration, you can always visit my facebook...pictures are all there)

So, what have I been doing all these while? Hmm, let me think... well, nothing much, I guess. I am just carrying on with my mundane lifestyle, like usual. There is nothing much to say about CNY celebration too, as it was nothing special. I just celebrated it like any other person, eating, drinking, watching telly and gambling with my family. I am not saying that it wasn't happy, in fact, I really did enjoy myself, spending quality time with my family. Well, that pretty much sums up my CNY - boring, isn't it?

Well, I am back to blogging state again. (I will only update this blog if there are events or thoughts worth writing about, ok?)

There is something on my mind now, actually. I always wonder, why is it so hard to keep your promises, or to tell the truth?

Is lying the best way to handle things? I really do not understand why some people just love to lie, even about small things. And if you wanna lie, make it a good one, alright? What's the point in lying to me, knowing that I would eventually find out the truth? If you wanna lie, please, do it wisely. Don't ever let me know or suspect anything, ok?

And about promises... I always believe that if you make your promise, fulfil it, unless there are reasons to explain why you can't. (Bear in mind, reasons and excuses are different)

Oh... this post is going nowhere. I just sound like an angry, whiny bitch. I am not trying to say anything... Perhaps being too free is the reason why these thoughts sprang to my mind.

I am gonna start my final semester next week! I'll try to enjoy it as much as I can...because after this semester, I am DONE with my degree! Yay!! Sorry, I should say, after this semester AND industrial internship.

I seriously hope that something, even small little things, would come along and bring changes and excitement into my life. Please...please...please...I am begging...

2008 - A Reflection

2008-12-31T23:59:00.002+08:00

I know this sounds boring, but I can't resist saying it. "Time flies..." and it really does.

The memories of me entering secondary school, moving from one district (Kuantan) to another (Kuala Lipis) in 2001, entering a different school in Form 6, falling in and out of love, getting drunk and going nuts... the list goes on. The paths taken, the journey undergone as well as the experiences are still vivid in my mind. I daresay that I remember every single detail... ^_^

In my 22 years of living on this planet called Earth, my life has always been quite dramatic. Perhaps I shouldn't blame this on my various encounters... I should blame myself for being a drama queen. LOL.

So, what happened in 2008? Well, the first few months of the year was quite difficult for me, as I was recovering from a really bad break up and was stalked by the ex...

I became more dilligent and hardworking as a student during my fourth semester...but became lazy again during the fifth semester! Hahahahahahahaha!!

Went to Hatyai with Renee and her friends. Had a lot of fun shopping and seeing new things. Had a foot massage as well as full body massage for the first time ever. I almost fell off the chair during the foot massage because I could not stand the ticklish sensation. It was hilarious!!!

Been out a lot with my friends...for a change~

Went clubbing at new clubs!

I chose to work as a sales, and since my car was crashed earlier, I relied on public transportation, my sister and my sales team leader to get to work. Thanks to them!! Muakz. The point here is, I took public transport. A big improvement. LOL

Learned the hard way not to be so trusting and realised the need to increase self-protection.

Lost weight and gained weight on and off. So... I don't give a shit anymore. Call me a fat bitch if you want, see if I care. :)

EQ definitely has been improved, especially since I started working, about a month ago. This is a big step for me... because I have difficulties in holding my temper. But I did it and I hoped to maintain this. I don't wanna be the impulsive one anymore. I am going for cool, calm and collected. :)

Got to realize that I have to learn how to be more responsible, consistent, persevere and committed. Funny isn't it? Human beings should possess all these things in order to succeed but I am not born with them. lol. Well, I guess I am, but they are hidden somewhere and I have to dig it out and let it stay on the surface.

Many things have happened... If I were to write them out, you would get bored reading it.

So, all in all, it has been a normal year. Good and bad things have happened, that's just life, right? All I can say is, I am glad being alive and still kicking. I feel lucky to have my beloved family and friends around and everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, when bad things happened, you will realize some hidden things. Example, can't think of it now but all I can say is... blessings in disguise do exist. :)

Thank you to everyone who has been a part in my life. I appreaciate all of you. Mwah!!

Goodbye 2008 and welcome, 2009!

Random Thoughts

2008-12-22T01:26:00.004+08:00

I am officially getting tired of apologising for the lack of updates. So for a difference, I will not be apologising this time. lol

I know, I am on holidays but I'm working now. Sales advisor for Proton. Since I am new, I do not have much time for myself lately. Even when I do, all I wish to do is to stay home, rest and sleep and watch telly or dvds. Gosh, sounds like I am getting old. Seriously, I am pretty worn out everyday when I finally get off work, even when I did nothing much during my working hours. I think the stress is getting to me. I start to feel like a loser again. But I have yet to give up... I will continue fighting.

My social life is like... dead. I don't get to spend much time with my friends anymore... sigh. Romance? DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Alright, I'll say this, loud and clear - I've been fantasizing that I could actually develop a relationship with someone and again, I'm disappointed. Not much to my surprise, tho'. I am used to it. I think I should really give myself one tight slap - "wake up, idiot!"

Nothing is going smooth at the moment... why can't my life be smooth-sailing? My fragile heart has been crushed again and again. I almost feel that I could hear my heart breaking. Please don't get me wrong. I am not talking about my romance (although I admit, it did upset me a little). I am talking about something else... something P & C.

I have to go to bed now, or else I will be a walking corpse tomorrow at work. Folks, I am so sorry for missing out the outings... I will try my best to make it up once I get my car back. Love~

P/S: Cristabel is breaking down. Purely an emotional wreck now.

The end of Semester 5

2008-11-24T03:32:00.003+08:00

I know... I am really behind with updates... But I am trying. =) Time flies... I still vividly remember the first day I stepped into TCPJ and the experience during the first semester, in which I struggled so badly to cope. I wanted to give up, but somehow, I did not and persisted. I can't believe it... I already finished my fifth semester and I only have one more semester + internship to go and I will be graduating, if I pass. Phew! I did not have much time to think about how much I achieved earlier but I have plenty of time to think about it now. Well, duh, I learn how to write, which annoys the hell outta me sometimes. Hahahah, I think my fellow uni mates will know what I am talking about. I am a Communication and Media Management major and yet I have to write all the time, like a journalist. Is the reason of my annoyance clear now? =)

Alright, to be fair, I did learn quite a lot... Photoshops, Indesign, Frontpage, Dreamweaver, A LITTLE BIT of HTML code and CSS (I am really bad in this), a little bit of surviving skills (you don't really learn much in uni, coz the working world is totally different!) and so forth. Oh ya, although I am an avid reader, I hate reading newspapers. Due to the demand of my course, I have to read them all the time, so I have more knowledge of current issues. Well, everyone in my course learn the same thing, so it is not really a big deal, right? But I am amazed that I can actually operate a software, being a technical idiot all the time. LOL

So... I am graduating in less than a year. Anticipation, happiness, sadness and fear - a mixture of feelings, is flooding through my veins. Yes, every undergraduate hopes to graduate so that they can finally move on and work and this is exactly my hope. But as the end of the journey of education draws nearer, I feel sad and afraid too. Although uni can be annoying, classes can be boring and lecturers can be sucky, time spent with friends is priceless. Hanging out with each other before classes, during lunch, outside uni, etc - these might sound normal, but I am having such a good time! This is like, once in a life time experience. When you work, you don't get to be irresponsible, lazy, crazy anymore, well at least not all the time. Do you still have that much time to hang out with your friends? You know the answer. All I know is I will look back one day and miss my uni life terribly, hoping I could go back.

Picture time!

Kelly and myself

Alvin (wearing Sya's witch hat for Halloween) and half of Michelle. :p

Leesha and Sya

Toddy and Kelly

Kelly and Cheri pretending to be ghost. HAHAHA

A Cruel Reality

2008-11-23T16:50:00.004+08:00

About two weeks ago, I watched a show on television. Some Taiwanese Show, I forgot what is the name. It's like a guessing game show. Anyway, it made me sad. Five pictures of really really big size girls were shown to the guests. They were asked to guess which girl lost the most weight. Then, the girls walked out from the backstage one by one... One of the girls actually lost 50 kg. Yes, you heard me. Freaking 50 kg!! The girl who lost the least weight? 24 kg. Anyway, they were asked to speak about their experiences, etc. All of them, I mean ALL of them, said that things have changed so much since they lost weight. They have more friends, more guys in their lives and no one tease them about their weight anymore. They said that they were not accepted by the society and people when they were fat, and now, things have changed. Since they became skinnier and prettier.

Gosh...what a cruel reality. Why? Why are people (esp girls) only accepted and well-liked if they are skinny and good-looking?? I feel so much for them because that happened to me in the past, when I was younger. Well, it is still happening now, but not as bad. Is physical appearance really everything? Is it the only thing that defines you? Why are humans such visual animals? Only inner beauty lasts in one's life, because everyone will grow old, provided they are not dead before they reach 50 and beyond wtf. I know all these but I am still a vain girl, you know? I still care a lot about how I look, but I am not that shallow - I don't define and judge people solely based on their appearances. I. DO. NOT. Even so, I always get the feeling that people other than my friends will only judge me based on my looks.

Sorry for the rambles... It's just that I have too much on my mind... and I have to get some things off my chest. Humans are such complicated animals and sometimes dealing with them tires me. (I am not referring to all humans, but certain ones)

My mind is so loaded...

The 'love' of my life

2008-11-22T15:05:00.002+08:00

I did not shop much lately... coz I've been TRYING to save up for some thing, but I failed. terribly. Sigh. Anyhoo, I managed to purchase some things I love so much. Take a guess, will ya? You don't need to guess actually, people who know me will naturally know the answer coz I am just sooooo predictable. On a general scale, I am obsessed with... cosmetics and perfumes. And occassionally, clothes. No. Not occassionally. Always. Ok, I am just rambling here. Gosh, I am bad in getting to the point. I love to digress. =.=''

Back to my main point. Yeah, I bought a new LE cosmetic set from Lancome, a blusher/highlighter/eyeshadow from The Body Shop, a De Javu Tiny Sniper (I lost mine, so I had to repurchase it). Gosh... I am quite broke now. My saving plan is totally gone. However, I am really happy with the stuffs that I bought. Beautifying myself with them gives me unspeakable satisfaction. LOL I am going nuts.

My tiny sniper and The Body Shop Blusher. (Kelly gave me that brush)

Close up: The Body Shop Blusher

Lancome LE Cosmetic Set. Love~~

Lancome LE Cosmetic Set: 6 eyeshadows, one blusher, one foundation (photogenic), one mascara, one juicy tube and one lip gloss. It is actually a good buy. I love this so much and I will never regret buying this. NEVER.

My shopping list is so damn longggggggggg... a never ending shopping list. =( How?? I guess that will be my motivation to work and earn more money.

Hello

2008-11-20T18:45:00.003+08:00

Hello... Sorry guys... I've been really busy lately so I didn't have time to update... Since I'm free now... I shall resume updating my blog. I did a lot during the time I was absent from my blog... so I shall update one by one. Lots of work, ok? Anyway, on Thursday (30th Oct), we (Amresh, Cheri, Kelly and myself) decided to go for lunch at Dragon-I after class. So off we went!

Yummy! Looking at this makes me hungry. T.T

While waiting for the food

Kelly can't wait to eat!

Kelly yakking away while Cheri listened with an opened mouth. LOL

After lunch, we decided to look for our Halloween costumes and accessories, so we went to The Curve. Sya, who skipped class that morning, decided to join us to hunt for costumes.

We're acting like tourists. =.=''

The girls

Amresh - bewildered. LOL

Goin nuts. Seriously.

After a few hours of searching, I finally found what I wanted! *happy*

Guess what I was gonna be? I went for dark angel at first, but in the end, it didn't work out... so I guess... I was night angel. wtf

After that, we went for dinner at Apartment, The Curve

Love~~

So... on Friday night... Party time!!! Location: Cloth & Cleft, Changkat Bukit Bintang.

Cheri The Cowgirl, MinMin the Night Angel, Kelly the White Angel, Amresh the Devil, Sya the Hot Witch! LOL...

We are a weird bunch of people. (kidding). but we haveee....

The posers

The cute one

The dancers

And then, there is one funny picture of Kelly, taken after she tasted my AK47! LOL!!!

After party, we went over to Bangsar, Devi's Corner for some Shisha (Amresh's favourite)

Ok well... that pretty much sums up our night.

More updates soon~~~~~~~

I am not ditching my blog!

2008-11-11T03:18:00.004+08:00

I've been busy lately so I do not have the time to update my blog...

However, after this Friday... I WILL BE FREE FOR 4 MONTHSSSSSSSSSSSS

There will be a number of posts coming soon...

My obsession

2008-10-28T22:46:00.003+08:00

I have so many assignments in hand... but I don't feel like doing it. This is my weakness, or you can call it bad attitude - if I don't feel like doing something, I will NOT do it and no one can force me to. Unless it's compulsory/or I'm obliged to. I know...assignments are my obligations, but I think I still have some time to waste... =.=''

Anyway, before I digress any further... I'm gonna talk about my all-time obsession. Friends who know me well are, of course, aware of this. My obsession is.......... eyelashes and mascaras!!!!!! I just can't stop buying mascaras and stuffs related to eyelashes. Crazy, right? But I just love them. I even wrote a feature story about eyelashes (one of my Advanced News Writing assignments).
P/S: I will post up the feature story here once I'm done with my current assignments, because I want to edit it and make it look like a feature story on magazine! :)

As the saying goes - Eyes are the windows to the soul - William Shakespeare.

That's why I love to buy eye-related cosmetics - eyes are important features on the face! And I think that eyelashes make a difference. BIG difference. Who doesn't want long, thick, and curled eyelashes? When it comes to applying mascaras, I do have certain expectations. I want them evenly applied (every single lash), lengthy, curled and volumized. Some might say that it's too fake, but it's just me. I like them to be precise. :D

My eyes with mascaras:

No they are not fake. They are really my lashes with three types of mascaras which I normally used. Which three? Take a guess!

My collection - Mascaras, fiber and eyelash extension serum:

My all-time favourite mascara:

dejavu fiberwig mascara.
Good stuff. To me, this is a god-sent tool to beautify my eyes! lol

That is all for now. I really gotta go and work on my assignment. It's due in less than 24 hours...... god......

Random updates and rambles

2008-10-27T17:03:00.002+08:00

First of all, Happy Deepavali to all my Indian friends!!

I'm having a longggg weekend - I have no class on Friday and Tuesday. So I have five days off. I was kinda excited on Thursday, but that feeling quickly faded off, because I realized I have nothing much to do, except for assignments (which I have not even started doing yet). I'm not productive, I have not much of a social life. Sigh... Perhaps, it's my own silly fault for refusing to go out, but when I come to think of it, even if I do go out, there is nothing out there that excites me anymore. You name it - shopping, movies, karaoke, clubbing, drinking, yumcha, etc. I don't feel like doing any of those.

On a completely unrelated topic, I'm cutting out all the jerks in my life, gradually. Yesterday was another one.

Mr X: Hey, are you going anywhere tonight?
Cristabel: I'm not sure yet, perhaps I'm going to karaoke.
Mr X: Why not go for drinks?
Cristabel: There are drinks in karaoke.
Mr X: Who are you going with? All ladies?
Cristabel: No, I'm going with my brother, his girl friend and maybe my friend.
Mr X: Oh, then I'm not interested. Not fun without ladies.
Cristabel: Fine, goodbye.
Mr X: Come to think of it, since I have nothing to do, I might as well join you.
Cristabel: Oh, ok, up to you.
Mr X: By the way, is your friend pretty? Coz I'm bringing another friend, and I'm afraid that he would be bored, because you will be accompanying me what...
Cristabel: You know what, I'm so sick of you. You can go by yourselves, you stupid bastard/womanizer! Don't bother contacting me anymore. You can rot in hell for all I care. Be careful of STD.
Mr X: I'm just asking. Ok then, up to you.

Why? Why can't I get to know some decent guys? All that I have ever met are bastards! Stalkers, womanizers, selfish ones.....................
I've learnt my lesson. I will never again meet guys in clubs. Correction, I will meet guys in clubs, but I will never ever go out with them or date them anymore. *frustated*

Some random updates of my dull weekend:

I went clubbing on Friday night - it was my brother's birthday. But the pictures are not with me now so I can't post it here. Just to clarify something, I will not be posting it anyway (perhaps you will find it in Facebook :D ), because we only took around 3 - 5 pictures as the camera's battery was dead. Anyway, the night ended really badly.
I went for a family dinner to celebrate the arrival of a new member of the family - my cousin's newborn son! Congratulations!
I went to Low Yat with my cousin Gavin on Sunday. Did not intend to buy anything at first but I ended up buying a camera, Canon Digital Ixus 870 IS. yay! But that happiness was short-lived. Don't ask me why... because I don't know.

Today, I've been home all day long because the weather is freaking hot and I don't wanna go out. Perhaps I will be going back to Lipis a few hours later and if I do go, I will be back tonight. Why? Because I have nothing to do and since my brother is going back, I might as well follow. See? I'd rather go on a meaningless-and-no-purpose trip than staying home to do my assignment. I'm so lazy. And unmotivated. I've been in this state since the beginning of this semester. Help me!

Some random pictures:

My new 'toy'!!! Canon Digital Ixus 870 IS

Dinner at Jun Kee Restaurant - Cheras. Good food.
Sorry, I forgot to take pictures for the rest of the dishes. Too hungry, I suppose.

The baby went home early as he would not stop crying... so I did not have the chance to take his picture.

Gotta scoot! See ya!

hya

2008-10-23T21:34:00.001+08:00

I will try to make sure that this new blog of mine is active. I am tired of ditching blogs.

Ladies and gentlemen... here I come!!!

Ok, I sound like a raving lunatic here. But anyway, this signals a new beginning for me. :)

Gotta go out and have dinner soon.

See ya~~~~