Once-in-a-blue-moon update LOL

It's been almost a year since I visited or updated this little personal space of mine. I guess this blog is going to die very soon wtf.

However, memories will always remain; therefore I am never gonna delete this blog of mine.

Whoever says that blog must be updated regularly? Is there any particular set of rules which dictate so? HELL NO. So, to hell with discipline... I shall only update as I see fit, or when I feel like it :p

It's now 5.30am in the morning and I still can't sleep. Or rather, I don't wanna sleep for some weird reasons. Lately, I have been feeling a little lost and I am trying to find my way out now. Is it really because I am too idle nowadays? Or because of something else? It's been a while since I last wrote something, so pardon me if this piece of my thought is a lil' bit all over the place. :)

I think I have grown up a lot in these few months. Due to my experience of working with Appco. I'm not gonna bore you with the details of the company or the job; if you would like to find out more, feel free to google the name of the company. I was basically doing sales and marketing cum corporate trainer. I have learnt a great deal from this job and met some really nice chaps along the way, whom I will never forget in my entire life.

I have also met someone who's now a precious friend to me and I hope it will remain this way... because I came to realize that the friendship means more to me than any other kind of relationships. And I am really comfortable and happy like this. :)

Like I said earlier, there are some things that will remain as memories forever... One day, I will still look back and smile, reminiscing the good old times and be grateful for I have met him. But I am actually still in the adjusting period... But soon, I will be able to get over it. I truly believe that time actually heals. Don't get me wrong, it's not like my world is about to collapse... it's just sometimes I would still ask the what ifs questions. Over and over again.

If the person in question ever gets to read this, he will have the answer to the question he asked me last night. But it doesn't matter now anymore, does it? It didn't work out, so that's all there is to it. And when he asked, I did consider for a moment, just for a moment to tell him, but I did not in the end, I just merely avoided the question. Thank God for that. I wouldn't wanna risk ruining the friendship that we have built after ending things.

I want to get rid of the what ifs questions. I really do. But the harder I try, the worse it became. I end up asking more. So I will just go with the flow for the time being, I guess?

I will end this post with a song that kinda describes my mixed up feelings now.



Good night peeps!

What I have been up to lately~

I have been updating my blog regularly, but these updates are mainly my thoughts. I haven't been blogging about what I have been up to lately as I'm damn lazy to upload the pictures here... LoL. I didn't even blog about my birthday. @.@

Did not watch any movie recently... the last one was Karate Kid, together with Martin. =) A very touching movie. I'd like to apologize to Martin for making him wait for nearly half an hour in front of the cinema... :p ^sorry^

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time in Shall We Dance Studio... I'm now taking up Latin class too. ^_^ The reason why I have been spending so much time there was because I took part in the salsa performance for SWDS Anniversary 2010! Initially I participated just for the fun of it, but as the Big Day drew closer, I started to become anxious and thought about quitting for countless time. Fortunately, I did not. I gritted my teeth and stuck it thru'. It was one of the best decisions I made, as I learnt a lot and it brought me happiness. Perhaps, I should say, joining in this studio is one of best decisions I have ever made, as I made many friends, and all of them are nice and kind-hearted people. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

I shall let the pictures do the talking now yeah? =)

Presenting... SHALL WE DANCE STUDIO ANNIVERSARY 2010~














There are many more types of dance performance that day, but unfortunately, I do not have all the pictures... There were Latin, Hip Hop, Ballroom, Belly Dance and the list goes on...

My salsa class... =)



Apart from that, Merdeka celebration... Not that I'm very patriotic, it was just another reason to party~~~ TeeHee ^_^



Then, random night outs... I won't post so many pictures of the night outs here as you could see most of them in my Facebook...


Then... Tioman trip with my eldest sis~~

HAHAAHHAA this is precious... LoL

Genting Trip with friends from SWDS...~~


Last but not least... my convo~~~~~!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY.


Thanks to my daddy and mummy and yima... and my family... and my friends too... without all of you, I will never be able to make it this far...

Oh well, it's getting really "early" now. heheheheh... I shall blog about my birthday celebration soon. Good night peeps~

思念

前几天。。。在我看电视的时候，突然间听到王菲的 “我愿意”。。。 那首歌的第一句就是

“思念是一种很玄的东西，如影随形。。。”

这句话真的很适合形容我的心情。。。因为我现在在思念着某一个人。。。 可是我却不可以找他，因为我怕我会吓到他。本来我不打算让他知道我对他的感觉的，可是在毫无选择的情况之下，我逼不得已告诉了他。如果时间可以倒流的话，我决不会让他知道。虽然我知道我们之间是没有可能的，可以默默的守在他的身旁，成为他的其中一个朋友已经足够了。我这样并不是伟大，而是自私，因为若是可以这样的话，我会比较快乐。可是现在事情已经成为了一个无法改变的定居了。他既然已经知道了，我再也不可以若无其事，无无聊聊的找他聊天。现在我会怕打扰或吓到他。

可是我并没有不开心。。。因为我知道他现在很幸福。偶尔想起他的时候，我会告诉我自己，他一定过得很好，千万别去找他，弄到事情更糟。保持距离是最好的。

思念他的时候，我就会写在我的日记里。。。 今天我不可以这样做，因为我不会写华语字。只会用电脑或电话写出来。哈哈哈哈！这样做，我已经很开心了。写完之后，我会继续过我的生活。。。

我天天都告诉我自己，只要他开心就可以了。我也会好好的过下去。。。 尽量不要白活。我坚信我的幸福一定会找到我的。我的人生一定会多姿多彩，我保证！！

Life is strangely beautiful

A few days ago, I went out at the crack of dawn to get some breakfast... As I drove out, I was caught in a mini-jam near my housing area and I was cursing my lungs off because patience is not my virtue and to me, getting stuck in the jam is an utter waste of time. But there was nothing I could do other than cursing and cursing at that point of time is not productive. Well, it won't help anyway. It's not like the jam would move if I get angry and curse. Suddenly, a revelation came to me. Technically, it is not revelation, it is something I have known all these while, but never could truly grasp the concept. At that moment, I was looking at the clear blue sky, decorated with snow white clouds and the bright sun... Birds were flying and chirping away happily and as it was a breezy day. Life shouldn't be so hard. No matter how dire the circumstance is, we still could find a way to make ourselves happy... it is all a game of mind. In short, it all depends on your mindset. Perhaps, there are a million things out there that you cannot control, but there is one thing you can, your mind. Cursing and getting restless when caught in the jam wouldn't change a thing. Instead of getting angry and ruin my mood, I could have listened to my favourite music, read a book, or just simply enjoy my surrounding by observing it.

Then, I reached the restaurant, got down from my car and ordered my breakfast. As I was waiting for my breakfast, I sat down, lighted a ciggie, and watched the people around me. The stall owners, customers, waitresses, etc. I thought to myself, these people are beautiful. Life may have made them age, unattractive and plain, but they are beautiful. I believe that there is some kind of beauty in everyone. I don't know these people, yes, but I know that they are living their lives, making a living. That very own fact makes them beautiful. And that reminds me of something, the very reason I chose the beauty line. The very reason I fell in love with makeup. I love to beautify people. Yes, beauty has to come from within, but I think at least by highlighting their best features, it would give them confidence. It is extremely empowering to feel beautiful and confident. I would like to be the one who helps to achieve this. I love to see the smiles on their faces when I am done with my job.

I get it now. I really do. If you have a positive mind, everything you see will be beautiful and that will be the sole factor that is going to drive you on when faced with challenges or difficulties. We could never choose a circumstance, but we could always choose the way we react to it.

Finally, I see it. Life is strangely beautiful in many ways and I am happy to be able to discover more. I will continue this journey in making a difference, making the world a more beautiful place in my own ways.

I. Am. Happy.

Regret

Dear all,

Now, I know I should not be writing about something this negative just one day after my birthday, but I need to because these unsettling feelings deep down inside my heart are torturing the hell outta me.

I did the unthinkable thing and made a fool outta myself on one fateful day. Sounds just like me isn't it? Sigh. I feel so mortified and embarrassed and I really don't know what I can do to make things right again. How I wish I could turn back time or undo the things that I did. How I wish.

I did what I did not because I couldn't let go, I supposed it was just some unexpressed feelings in my heart (that I am trying desperately to get rid of and I am getting there) that drove me to do that.

If I do say so myself, throughout the years, I have learnt how to move on and let go, I just need some time to do it. I seriously don't know what the hell got into me. Perhaps it really was the alcohol doing the talking, not me. Because I never would have done such a thing. Just by thinking of it makes me cringe. And wanna slap myself. And feel like puking. It's like I can't even live with myself now.

I ruined something again. And I really do regret it... Thousand apologies. I'm really sorry.