It's been a while

Hi all, I've been missing in action again... :o

Nope, this time it is not about work or assignment or anything...

Someone once told me: "It is not easy to push yourself to do something". How true.

Now that I am taking Diploma in Professional Make Up, I feel that the stress is getting to me. I am serious. I feel that I am never gonna make it. I feel that I don't have the talent. I watch all my friends go to work with so much energy and enthusiast and hell I envy them. I watch all of them building their career and hell I envy them too! Everyone's working and yet I am stuck studying. Every now and then, if opportunities come up, I would feel tempted. I would feel like going back to event/advertising/PR... but I always tell myself, this is your dream. You chose it. You left your job for it. It's like I have a devil living deep inside my heart who keeps debating with me. "You can't make it. A dream is always a dream."

It's driving me insane here! To add insult to injury... people judge. I know I can't stop people from judging me and I am learning to deal with this. Sometimes I succeed in ignoring them, sometimes I don't. The determining factor here is... who are those people and whether or not I care for them.

But no matter what, I would fight the devil living in mind and I will prove some people wrong. I am not worthless. Not useless.

Right now... I just need to rant a little. Because I am afraid. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of the future. Afraid of failure. Afraid of losing. After ranting...I believe that I would be ok.

More updates soon, if there is any. :)