Regret

Dear all,

Now, I know I should not be writing about something this negative just one day after my birthday, but I need to because these unsettling feelings deep down inside my heart are torturing the hell outta me.

I did the unthinkable thing and made a fool outta myself on one fateful day. Sounds just like me isn't it? Sigh. I feel so mortified and embarrassed and I really don't know what I can do to make things right again. How I wish I could turn back time or undo the things that I did. How I wish.

I did what I did not because I couldn't let go, I supposed it was just some unexpressed feelings in my heart (that I am trying desperately to get rid of and I am getting there) that drove me to do that.

If I do say so myself, throughout the years, I have learnt how to move on and let go, I just need some time to do it. I seriously don't know what the hell got into me. Perhaps it really was the alcohol doing the talking, not me. Because I never would have done such a thing. Just by thinking of it makes me cringe. And wanna slap myself. And feel like puking. It's like I can't even live with myself now.

I ruined something again. And I really do regret it... Thousand apologies. I'm really sorry.